Why Authenticity is More Important Than Ever

Anyone with an email address or social media account has likely encountered an influx of spam messages and dubious images being pushed to them. Since launching The Connectors online in March, we get anywhere from 5-10 spam emails a day for everything from bookkeeping services to sales generation to “congratulations, you’ve been selected for this great award for the low price of $2,000!” I know we’re not alone, but that doesn’t make it any less exhausting for all of us who just want to go through our day and focus on what matters.

This recent article from NPR highlights the growing problem of AI generated spam on social media and the challenges it’s presenting for users, causing many people to walk away from the platforms entirely. But the problem isn’t just reserved for Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. More “professional” mediums like LinkedIn and email are starting to get bombarded with content that appears to be genuine in nature, but when you dig deeper into the message, you realize you’re being taken for a ride or not interacting with the person who claims to be on the other end – and, in many cases, not interacting with a person at all.

Fraudulent and spam messages masquerading as genuine are nothing new, but the challenge with AI content is that it’s becoming harder to spot the differences. When people fall for these traps, their reaction is to shut off completely and that leads to an erosion of trust in the medium that delivered the message. While it seems like an impossible obstacle for people who are trying to connect for legitimate reasons, there is reason for hope and ways you can break through the clutter to differentiate yourself from the noise.

There are some key “tells” that many of these spam messages contain and, for a growing number of people, seeing certain phrases or sentence structures will automatically make them think twice before engaging. How many of these mistakes do you make in your outreach? Are you inadvertently leading people to question your authenticity and potentially delete or ignore your message?

“Hey!”

Starting a message with this informal tone is a red flag that it may have been created by AI or that the sender doesn’t care about the intended recipient. If you know someone well and have an established connection, opening a message with “Hey!” can certainly be appropriate. But if you have no connection to that person or understanding of their cultural context, opening your message that way can be more than just disrespectful, it can signal that AI wrote it. I looked at all of the spam emails and LinkedIn messages The Connectors received over a one-week period, and more than 50% of them started with Hey. They also had similar structures and phrasing, even if they were selling different things, which immediately signaled the lack of authenticity behind the message.

“This is a real message”

The more someone claims to be authentic, the more likely it is that the message is fake – or that it will at least be perceived as fake. Consider these excerpts from recent emails:

“Hi Emily, I genuinely took the time (this is a real message) to go through The Connectors, and I believe I could help your team fill some of the gaps in their product and software engineering teams.”

“My team and I have taken a look through your website and we’re certain that we can help you generate 100+ qualified leads in 60 days for your coaching and consulting business without spending anything on ads. I shot a personal and private video demonstrating how we can help you grow your coaching and consulting business here…”

First off, if someone did genuinely look at our site, they’d know we’re a small business and don’t have product and software engineering teams. And the “personal and private video” with a clickable link screams danger and immediately triggers anyone who’s ever had their IT department chastise them about falling prey to phishing scams. (Not to mention, that’s just creepy wording, especially as the subject line was “Personal message for you.”) As you can imagine, these and other emails like them have landed on our blocked senders list and have been relegated to our junk mail folders forever.

Making the message all about the sender

Consider this message I got recently from a complete stranger or AI bot – I’m honestly not sure as I haven’t been able to verify this person’s identity:

“Would you be open to having a call? I won’t waste your time, and if you give me a chance, I won't disappoint you. I feel like I honestly can help you. When would it be a good time? I’m also in Eastern time right now. I won't be able to visit your office or meet close by any time soon, but if you prefer to meet in person, I will ask some of my colleagues to visit you (you’ll love them).”

First, the obvious begging isn’t doing this sender any favors or helping their cause. But more importantly, like the rest of the message, the sender doesn’t give any indication as to why I should care about them and want to engage. They’ve not demonstrated any reason why I should give up my time and certainly haven’t tapped into anything that matters to our company.

Also, did you count how many times they used “I” in just a few sentences? It’s a subtle but important communication red flag that signals the sender only cares about themselves and doesn’t actually have room for you in the conversation.

Skipping the “why”

I noticed another trend when analyzing a week’s worth of spam messages: nearly every one of them started with an overwhelming amount of information about what they do, followed by boasting about their credentials and other clients they have. A common theme in all of these messages – whether they were generated by AI or a person who doesn’t know any better – is they missed the basic tenets of storytelling, engagement, and getting someone to care enough to reply. Many provided generic or inflated claims about The Connectors or my personal accomplishments that had no basis in reality, perhaps in an attempt to appeal to my ego to trigger a response. (Spoiler alert: it didn’t work and just turned me off even more.)

In the great words of Simon Sinek, “people don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” Not a single one of these senders was able to connect the dots and give a good reason as to why they deserved a response to their outreach.

To be clear, AI is a tool that – when used well – can absolutely help with communications and outreach. This article is not about AI bashing or encouraging people to avoid using any tools that can help them grow. As with any emerging and quickly changing technology, the challenge is to make sure you’re using AI to support your efforts and guide you, not letting it control your communications so you sound like a robot.

The bottom line is, whether using AI or crafting the message yourself, when people have a good feeling about you, they’re more willing to believe in you and more willing to respond. In order to break through the clutter and get enough interest from them to reply, the communication has to be authentic and tailored specifically to the recipient. Otherwise, the connection will see through it (whether at first glance or over time), and this will erode the trust they have in you.

If you’d like some help making your communications and outreach stronger, send us a note at hello@theconnectors.net to share what you’re looking for or check out our workshops and coaching offerings to learn more.